Review – Cooking Witch

cooking witch pot
Review – Cooking Witch

Platforms: Windows PC, Steam

Game Name: Cooking Witch

Publisher: VaragtP

Developer: VaragtP

Genre: Action

Release Date: May 18th, 2017

Cooking Witch from VaragtP

A colorful environment encompassed by lively carnival music goes to show that appearances can be deceiving, especially when a wicked witch begins abducting innocent children and, well, eating them. Cooking Witch, developed by VaragtP, throws a curve ball at its players in the most quirky yet comical way. It almost feels morbid to admit that dropping youngsters into a boiling cooking pot from a fatal height is entertaining. Maybe it is, but that doesn’t stop Cooking Witch from being a fun experience.

Missing Recipes

Cooking Witch’s gameplay mechanics are a bit of a head-scratcher at first. You only need your handy dandy mouse accompanied by a morsel of enthusiasm as the witch whips through the sky on her magical broom, but the reality of it isn’t as charming. Cooking Witch lacks an intro or a user-friendly tutorial, instead presenting a tip board displaying helpful information about the gameplay. At first, those handy dandy hints weren’t so handy dandy at all. What did gulping down a star mean? Why is she being shot at? You’re on your own, buddy. Good luck out there.

cooking witch board

Frantically thrashing my mouse and forth while concurrently clicking on children of all shapes and sizes isn’t rocket science, but then all of a sudden the witch is being shot at and losing her ambition to carry on with her wicked ways. Apparently, knocking these “Daddies” down and adding them to the witch’s stew is achievable. Unfortunately, it took me an embarrassing amount of run-throughs to figure out how. Had I been given some direction, maybe I would have prospered sooner. Life must go on, and so must her diligent cuisine.

Though to some a little dark and twisted, snatching frightened children, dropping them into a giant smoldering pot, and reaping the benefits of their demise is surprisingly addicting. Cooking Witch presents a variety of screaming broods accompanied by unique qualities to cause havoc to the witch’s evil schemes. Luckily, the type of child is easy to determine. The obese adolescent clothed in yellow is easy to catch and provides an exceptional amount of meat but is more problematic to transport to her pot. On the other hand, those wearing red provide a little extra health when the witch is running low on steam.

cooking witch upgrades

Kitchen Upgrades

Luckily, upgrading the witch’s attributes along with her broom, cooking pot and extra hooks makes snatching children a little less stressful. To achieve these radical upgrades, the witch must perform certain tasks and devour a ton of meat. Tasks can range from cooking 20 red kids to knocking out six Daddies. Regardless, in order to evolve the witch into a more malicious one, it’s necessary to collect that delicious meat, which is basically used as a form of currency in Cooking Witch. That’s right, that new fancy broom was purchased with children’s flesh. Feels a little weird, right?

Aside from purchasing equipment, the witch also runs on health, stamina and strength. Lugging around a variety of kids on a broom isn’t exactly a walk in the park, nor is dodging bullets or firework sparks. The wicked witch needs all the help she can get. Unlocking additional hooks for her broom is a pretty neat feature. The more kids cooked at a time, the better. Seeing as each play-through is timed, the faster she is at tossing youngsters into her pot, the more successful she will be. Most children produce stars, adding bonus seconds to the ticking clock. Cooking Witch doesn’t have a pause feature, sadly; otherwise, the witch could rack up that meat count for hours.

cooking witch gameplay

A Little Overcooked

Sure, Cooking Witch is a quirky entertaining game, but I found it disappointing that the carnival is the only playable stage. The environment, though vibrant and exciting, becomes dull and repetitive after a while. Within hours, the witch can easily grasp all possible achievements and the enticement of Cooking Witch is gone. Climbing the leaderboard and participating in competitions adds a little extra flair, but only momentarily. Additional stages could easily mold Cooking Witch into a much more challenging and exciting experience. In the meantime, the witch will continue pestering joyous carnivals and ruining youngster’s lives – how bittersweet!

Cooking Witch is available via Steam.

[xrr rating=”2.5/5″]

Watch the official trailer for Cooking Witch below: